super addict

my co-CyberTropa is just driving me crazy

they already tell me that i am obssessed but hell no!
it is just..uhm, well, called fabatic, haha!

obssession to the max

kaila mo ug adik?

High school never ends!!!!

After three days of cramming, studying, praying and several sleepless nights, the senior's final examination has finally come to an end! How's the last and final exam in high school? Well, some were quite hard and some were a bit easy. I'm sure I'm going to miss the time when I have to cram up for a test or exam.
I am so happy that the exam is over but I feel nervous to the result of the exam. I hope the best, not just for me, but for the whole batch as well, especially class 4- Blesssed Rupert Mayer.

*** As we go on, we remember all the times we had together.

And as our lilves change, come whatever, we will still be friends FOREVER!!! ***

one day to go!

One day to go and exam will be over! Then I will graduate in high school (hopefuly!)

Please Hear What I'm Not Saying

Please Hear What I’m Not Saying

Don’t be fooled by me.

Don’t be fooled by the face I wear for I wear a mask.

I wear a thousand masks, masks that I’m afraid to take off and none of them are me.

Pretending is an art that’s second nature with me but don’t be fooled,

for God’s sake don’t be fooled.

I give you the impression that I’m secure

that all is sunny and unruffled with me within as well as without,

that confidence is my name and coolness is my game.

That the water’s calm and I’m in command, and that I need no one.

But don’t believe me. Please!

My surface maybe smooth but my surface is my mask,

my ever-varying and ever-concealing mask.

Beneath lies no smugness, no complacence.

Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear, in aloneness.

But I hide this.I don't want want anybody to know it.

I panic at the thought of my weaknessesand fear exposing them.

That's why I frantically create my masks to hide behind.

They're nonchalant, sophisticatedfacades to help me pretend,

To sbield me from the glance tha knows.

But such a glance is precisely mysavation, my only salvation, and I know it.

That is, if it's followed by acceptance, if it's followed by love.

It's the only thing that can liberate me from my

own self-built prison wallsfrom the barriers that I sopainstakingly erect.

That glance is the only thing that assures me of whatI can't assure myself,

that I'm really worth somehting.

But don't tell you this.

I don't dare.

I'm afraid to.

I'm afraid you'll think less of me,

that you'll laughand your laugh would kill me.

I'm afraid that deep-downn i'm nothing,

that I'm just no good and youwill see this and reject me.

So I play a game, my desperate,pretending game

with a facade of assurance without.

And a trembling child within.

So begins the parade of masks--

The glittering but empty parade of masks,

And my life becomes a front.

I idly chatter to you in suave tonesof surface talk.

I tell you everything that's nothingAnd nothing of what's everything,

of what's crying within me.

So when I'm going through my routine.

Do not be fooled by what I'm saying.

Please listen carefully and try not to hear what I'm saying.

Hear what I'd like to say butwhat I cannot say.

I dislike hidding.

Honestly.

I dislike the superficial gameI'm playing--the superficial phony game.

I'd really llike to be genuineand spontaneous me,

But I need your help,your handto holdEven though my masls would tellyou otherwise.

It will not be easy for you.

Long felt inadequacies make my defenses strong.

The nearer you approach methe blinder I may strike back. D

espite what books say of men,

I am irrational;I fight against the very thingthat I cry out for.

You wonder who I am?

You shouldn't for I am everyman

and everywoman who wears a mask.

Don't be fooled by me.

At least not by the face I wear.

I'm sick!

It all started on Tuesday...
When I went into the comfort room to pee, I noticed that my p** is color yellow, very yellow! I thought that it was due to my medicine but i just got from a fever and I took some medicine. But that time I was really curious and concerned for myself. I just let it pass...

Wednesday
i didn't feel well. I started to loose my apetite in eating. I decided to absent because I got a headache and I feel so stressed.

Thursday
I'm fine but I only eat less... nanghihina na ako.

Friday
It was Reading of Honors. I feel weak and I don't feel like eating anymore. During recess time, I force myself to eat snacks because I only ateabout 3-4 spoonfuls in the morning...but still I don't have any apetite. i didn't even finish my snacks even it's my favorite--chocolate!

During lunch I only ate three pieces of siomai. I feel a littlebit better. In the afternoon I feel bad, I mean my tummy really feels bad. I feel like vomiting. i really want to vomit. I culd not focus on the discussion anymore...after class, I went to the girl's CR..and swoosh!!!

Saturday
i stay in the bedroom all day long! My tummy really hurts.

Sunday
Although I feel a little bit better still i don't have any apetite to eat. Mama cooked some delicious meals because it was my brother's birthday but i can't eat although I really want to eat. i eat a few spoonfuls but then i just vomit it..huhuhu.

My parents insist me to go to the hospital because already so worried about me but i resist to go. I'm afraid to go to the hospital... I'm afraid to know what kind of illness or disease i have. I just want to stay and rest at home. Mama told me that it wont get me any better if I just stay at bed all day long but I just want to stay and told them that I'm just okay even though I'm not.

Monday
My classmate observed that i looked pale and had yellow eyes. They already suspected that I have hepatitis because of my yellowish eyes. I went to the infirmary and found out that I got viral hepatitis. I was so nervous when the physician said that because i thought that it's a serious case but the doctor assured me that it's not like a heavy or serious disease and can be treated. Shocks! i took a deep breathe...I thought it's something serious. She advised(the doctor) me to go home so that I could take a rest. I asked her how long it will be after I will get fine. she told me that the recovery would last for about 5 days or a week. My God! I really don't want to absent because I'm thinking about my term paper. Drafts should be pass within the week. Oh my...

In the afternoon...me and my Mama went to the hospital. I was confirmed that i got viral hepatitis A. i was confined in the Madonna & Child Hospital for 4 days.


======

duTiFuLL...headAche...sLeepY...hhhhzzzzz

and there he goes
my love with another
it's so painful to see him
holding with another

i don't know what to do
i cant take this pain away
i can't let go
i wish you would come
back to
ME.

* * * dili related ang poem sa nahitabo karon * * *
== toinkz!==

practice.
standby.
lunch.
practice.
net.

so tired and sleepy!

(",)

goo bye
===weeeeeeee===